Lessons from a two-time MOH
Now that I’ve been a maid of honor in two weddings, I’m pretty much an expert on the subject. So, I wanted to share some tips that I learned through the experience…
1. Do your research and see what your responsiblities are.
These were my first two times even being in a wedding so I had a lot to learn! TheKnot.com was definitely a go-to source for all my questions. Responsibilities included planning the bachelorette party, favors and games for the bridal shower, organizing the bridesmaids when/if necessary, going dress shopping (for you and for the bride), going to dress fittings, and pretty much anything else the bride demands. I mean asks.
2. Think about budget.
Take it from someone in PR – I don’t do numbers. But you do want to think about how much everything’s going to cost, especially for the bridal shower and bachelorette party, where the group of bridesmaids is chipping in. How much is everyone willing to contribute?
And while a fancy, glamorous bachelorette party might sound awesome – think about how much that’s adding up for you as well. As a maid of honor/bridesmaid, you’re paying for bachelorette party activities (well, your portion), bridal shower favors and game materials, your bridesmaid dress, your bridesmaid dress’s alterations, a bridal shower gift, a bachelorette party gift, a wedding gift, shoes for the wedding, hair and makeup the day of, and the list goes on…
3. Remember, it’s not about you.
This is your bride’s day. Remember that throughout the process. I find it a lot less stressful to just have that mentality.
I just think about what she wants – What kind of bachelorette party would she like? Is she into bridal shower games or not? Personally, I just go along with whatever she wants your bridesmaid dress to look like and even get her opinion on how to do my hair that day. In the end, it’s her “vision” and her event, and it doesn’t really matter that much how I look that day. I’ll have my own wedding(s) to go crazy and be a control freak, so I give the bride the final call during hers.
4. The most important part of being MOH (Maid of Honor – in case you didn’t get that, like I didn’t at first).
Although the material things (parties, planning, dresses, shoes) can be the most stressful, I find the most important part of being my friends’ maid of honor is offering mental support.
This means comforting her when she’s stressed. Listening when she needs to vent. Reassuring her when she’s having doubts. It means not causing any drama and making sure any drama doesn’t reach the bride if it doesn’t have to. It means being the couple’s biggest cheerleader – they’ve chosen to be together and you’re there to back them up all the way. It means making sure the bride is having fun no matter what.
Being in the bridal party may seem like a lot of work, but it’s worth it. In the end I was honored to be such a big part of my friends’ days and I was happy to support their decisions to get married. And the most memorable part was being by the bride’s side throughout the entire process.
Maybe I’m just one of those people that needs people to need me, but maybe it just really is awesome being a maid of honor!