Apparently the over-arching theme of these posts so far is that I’m a pushover. I like to tell myself that I’m just laid back and understanding, but I’m starting to think I might have a problem!
Like when my friend asked me to pick her up for another friend’s birthday party, I said yes, even though it was completely out of the way and caused us both to be late. Would she have cared if I said no? Nope. But I still went out of my way just because I didn’t want to (what was in my eyes) let her down. And then I was secretly (ok, not so secretly) pissed that I had done it. I brought the whole thing upon myself!
Anyways, I don’t really have someone I need to forgive for some grave injustice. On the contrary, I think I’m too forgiving and I need to STOP forgiving people for everything! I need to get mad and stay mad when people lie to me. Or let me down. Or betray my trust. Or act like an ass.
I hate fighting and always let things go, but then it just ends up eating me inside in my typical passive-aggressive way. Which is no bueno. So I need to stop forgiving people so easily.
On a sidenote, I think it’s interesting how different the answers to some of these questions might be if I had done this exercise six months ago or two months from now or even five days ago.
Ok, on another sidenote (which really isn’t a sidenote at all but totally relevant to this post), I’ve been thinking about this question for a long time. And by a long time I mean two days. There is probably someone I need to forgive and I thought I did, but how can you be sure you’ve really forgiven someone? Have you really forgiven them if their actions continue to have an immense effect on you? And can you really forgive them for something they don’t even realize they’ve done?