When I saw this prompt, I was going to write something short and silly. Then I realized this could be one of those prompts where I write something really personal and insightful. But then I remembered that I don’t do that.

Look, obviously I’m no puritan. I believe in “everything in moderation.” I even make exceptions to that whole “moderation” rule at times. But it frustrates me when people can’t maintain some sort of balance in their lives. Is it so hard to have fun AND be responsible when necessary? Again, I’ll even make occasional exceptions to the “responsible” rule, because what would life be without a few substance-fueled irresponsible decisions. But I could never ultimately stay with someone who couldn’t keep their drinking in check.

Big, red flags:

• You drink more days of the week than you don’t. Regularly.
• You drink and drive.
• You disappear because you’re on a three-week bender.
• You drink while driving.
• You lie when you drink.
• You lie about drinking.