Riding the bus has got to be the greatest test of patience that exists. Today, I had to sit next to a lady that was chit chatting on her cell the entire time. Doesn’t she know it’s cell phone courtesy month?? And then she starts talking about the really important stuff: “What did you eat for lunch?” And not to be mean, but she had a bit of a lisp.

Then another woman comes and stands right next to me. Actually she’s practically sitting on my lap. And she has a huge purse that IS on my lap at this point. Don’t get me wrong, I’m the queen of huge purses. But at least I’m considerate enough to keep them out of people’s faces on the bus. Now, this may be very american of me, but I need my personal space. It took every ounce of strength I had not to totally lose it. All I could do was passively agressively nudge her purse with mine. She didn’t get the hint.

I get on my second bus and there’s a woman who literally has her leg up across the seat next to her. Just one leg. Just chillin. What kind of old lady does that?!?

I could go on and on about the characters you get to share a bus ride with. The lady with the screaming kids. Smelly guy. Loud teenagers talking about inappropriate things. Jerk sitting on the aisle seat and blocking an empty window seat. Standing idiots that refuse to move to the back of the bus and cause a huge blockade at the front. Crazy bus drivers.

I bet when you saw that I wrote, “I can go on and on,” you didn’t think I really would go on and on.

The point is, I’ve been doing the whole public transportation thing for more than five years. And it takes a lot of restraint. I think I’ve earned some kind of reward.